3.31.2008

The longest post of all...

This is gonna be a long post... Just to warn you.

Hmm... I guess it would be best to just pick up where I left off, eh?

Well, basically what happened was, I started hurting really badly again. I ended up getting really depressed, and turning into the bad monster known as Twinks Evil Twin. :::insert evil music here::: I was constantly lying to my parents, friends, and family. I was constantly hiding in my room, blaring loud music to drown out everything, even my own thoughts. I didn't talk to my parents much. It was the same routine everyday: Get up, go to school, come home, get on the internet, and go to bed. I wasn't even eating that much. I stopped doing my homework. My whole world revolved around the internet. Now, I'm not going to get into detail about what happened, that's personal, but let's just say that I lied big time to my parents for eight whole months... Now, if any of you have been with me since the beginning, you know that that's not like me. Normally I'm your straight A, truth-telling, goody-two-shoes. But I just got so caught up in the lie, I never knew how to get back out. So eventually, right before Christmas, I told my mom everything. I was, as expected, wayyyy grounded. But the feeling of getting that big lie off my chest was so worth telling the truth.
So, Christmas came around and things started feeling better. I started going to physical therapy, which helped with all my pain, and my mom and I started talking more, which helped with stopping the lies. I had an AWESOME Christmas. I got tons of cool gifts, which included an 80GB Zune. W00t!! And slowly, my parents started showing a little trust in me. But with that trust, came responsibility. But if doing a few extra chores every day makes my parents happy, I'll be more than happy to do them.
Ok, so the winter dance came around. I was supposed to go with my friend, J. But he ended up leaving me halfway through the dance for my other friend, C. But, I was ok with it. Yeah, a few tears were shed, but hey, I still had a great dance.
Not much has happened since then. My grades are (for the most part) back to their normal A status. I guess my life has been going pretty good.
I had my birthday. So, yeah, I'm like, 14 now. Ha, it feels weird saying that. In one year I'll be driving. (Where I live, they let you get your permit at 15 1/2.) My parents are definitely not ready for that.
One thing I have learned though, is that I don't need a guy to be happy. I thought that because all my friends had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) that I needed one too. But, after going through some of the stuff that's happened, I see now that boyfriends and girlfriends shouldn't be the most important things in my life right now. I should just worry about being happy, and being a kid while I still can be. Now, don't get me wrong... People like Flip and her boyfriend make me smile, just thinking about how happy they are together. But I just don't think that I'm ready for a guy to be following me around everywhere yet.
I'm so not ready to be a freshman next year. Because of some of the advanced classes I'll be taking, I'll be surrounded by Juniors and Seniors constantly. They scare me. o.o But, overall I should have a pretty good year next year. I'll be taking my second year of French (which is going quite well, btw), and I'll be taking an engineering course at the High School. (They split the High School in two. The Freshman and Sophomore in one building the "Mid-High", and the Juniors and Seniors in the other building, the "High School".) Kinda confusing, I know.

Well, I guess I've been getting kinda artsy lately. I've been writing poems everyday, and I've even been dabbling in photography. I know I'll never be as good as my mom, or Flip, but I think I'm... ok?































Well, nothing much has happened today. I'm kinda in a blah mood right now. Oh well.

So yeah, thats what you guys missed out on. I'm seriously going to try posting every day, if not every other day here. I've missed you guys sooo much!!

Much love to everyone,
Twinks

10 comments:

Rurality said...

Hi Twinks! Glad you see you back on the blog! Sorry to hear about your rough patch, but glad you got over it. I had a rough patch at 14 too. That was ages ago for me but you know it seems like just yesterday, in a way. It was probably a good thing (for me) that the internet wasn't around back then!

Did you take those pictures? They are really good!

Good luck in school. Do you know what you want to study in college yet?

Twinks said...

Hey Rurality!!

Yeah, being a teenager is hard!!

But, yes, I did take those. My mom says that she "has hopes" that I'll be a good photographer.

Yeah, when I get to our local state college, I'm going to go to the chemical engineering program. It sounds like a fun job! ^_^

TTYL,
Much love,
Twinks

Rurality said...

Judging by that, I think you are *already* a good photographer!

I went to engineering school too (but electrical engineering) - it's fun. People are always impressed with girl engineers. ;)

Twinks said...

Thanks! I don't think so... but I guess artists never like their art. That's what mom told me. :)

That's so cool!! :::dances::: yay! Now I know a GIRL who went to engineering school!!! :D

teneal ann said...

Wow, girl. Sounds like a lot's been going on in your life!

I'm -really- glad you told your mom about whatever was going on. And I definitely understand about withdrawing like you did; I did that in seventh and eighth grade! I got a lot happier in eighth grade, but I never told my mom about how depressed I was. I'm sure she knew, but it's never something we've discussed. Now I'm slumping again- grades, motivation and stuff- and I should probably follow your example. My mom and I don't have such a good relationship, though.

Keep trying, though. Like you said, the chores are worth it. It's got to be a constant effort to keep up with life. Like running on a barrel. (I did that recently. Nearly broke my face.)

14 seems so far behind! I'm only -now- driving, at 17. I technically don't even have a permit but I'm a decent driver. We can get ours at 15, but I'm still waiting for my paperwork that I only applied for recently.

Boyfriends are definitely a lot of trouble and not really necessary. I haven't got one- though I do have a college friend who took me to my Military Ball! We've liked each other since last year (kinda the year before too), but he's going to Oklahoma University which is too far away. Sorry J ditched you for C. Dances almost always have to go a little bit bad, and it's good that yours only went a little bit. Most of my dances have gone pretty bad- they're always full of drama. The Military Ball this year went perfect for once, though.

Don't worry about being a freshman.
It's a lot easier than it seems at first.

We upperclassmen aren't that bad. Usually we make a little bit of fun of the freshmen, but only some, and then only the annoying ones. Kids in higher level classes or teams usually pal up with the upperclassmen because they're generally more mature. Just the way you write and act tells me you are mature.

Sometimes it seems like upperclassmen are really cocky or like they're rude to the underclassmen just 'cause. It's not really that way. Some do that, I guess, but I'll tell you that there is this weird change between being a sophomore and a junior. You're just different and after that you don't act like a freshman or even a sophomore and you have more trouble getting along with them.

What kind of engineering course are you taking? && On chemical engineering- GO FOR IT. High level chemistry is just puzzles. It's hard, sometimes really hard- I'm getting ready for my college level final on it- but if you start out with the beginning, the only key is to NOT let yourself fall behind. Always do your work. I didn't and I'm paying for it now.

Engineering pays really well. I was going to do chemistry, but I think I've lost too much understanding of it from slacking off- that, and what I'd -really- like to do is computer engineering, like programming things. You'll probably go through a couple different changes in what you want to do- I know I have- but usually you return to your same interests. Other than the eng. class and French, what are you taking next year? You definitely should do higher level English- preAP English is fun in ninth grade! Our state focuses on poetry that year. I'm not sure about yours.

I'm not much on the candycorn picture, but that baseball is a PHENOMENAL job. The contrasts and saturation on the ball are really, really amazing. That one picture's better than anything I've done. What kind of camera are you using? Right now I've got a Panasonic Lumix- it's just a little point and shoot- and my JROTC's Canon 35 mil SLR. I'm about to go pick up my film from a competition right now before I go to school.

Twinks said...

Thankies for all the advice Tenn! It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one out there who went through this.

Haha, clearly your highschool was much nicer than mine. I don't know what causes it, (it could be because we're in a small town) but our upperclassmen seem to be pure evil...

Anyway, I'm so glad you're back!! I've missed you sooooo much!! :::hugs:::

Next year? Oh, um, I think I'm taking honors science and honors math. My mom told me that she didn't want me taking any more than 2 honors classes, so I had to choose. I guess that's what sucks, I'm good at poetry, and writing, but I never do well in my English classes. :(
I honestly have no clue what kind of camera it is. My mom... :::coughs::: ...I mean, the easter bunny, got it for me. Its a dinky little Kodak 10 megapixel. But as the baseball picture clearly shows, it can do an amazing job.

Twinks

teneal ann said...

No problem. :)

Wow, really? Yeah, it definitely could be a small town thing. I mean, a lot of our ucm are mean, but I guess it's just the people I hang out with. We've got so many students and different groups there's always someone for you.

Honors science & math is a good thing to do. If you don't get started on that track in the beginning, it's hard to get on it later. Social studies and english can always wait and they're not that necessary -anyway-, because the whole point of preAP is to get you ready for AP which has exams for college test out. && It's really not necessary to test out of everything.

Haha, dinky 10 megapixel! You're funny. Mine's like 7 mp.

My film turned out terrible. I think my lens is aligned wrong or something. There's a black bar on EVERYTHING.

Twinks said...

Yeah, I keep telling mom we should move, but she just decided to remodel our house instead. I hate living in a small town. :(

Yeah, I've been taking honors/Pre-AP since first grade (my elementary school didn't know what to do with me.) I'm just worried that HighSchool Honors classes will be harder then what I'm used to. I like having a challenge, but I don't wanna be stressed to my breaking point.

Okay, so maybe not so dinky. But it can't focus at all. :P

Wow, black bars are never a good sign. You should ask my mommy about that. She's been doing photography since highschool. (and she's wayyy old :::giggle:::)

Flip said...

Don't knock the small towns babe. If it weren't for my boyfriend and high speed internet, I'd probably want to move back to Prescott, AZ. (Although Washington is still calling to me. X)) Vegas is as big a town as you get, at trust me. There's NOTHING to do here if you're under 18. :( (8 more months for me! Haha XD)

And as for your "dinky" 10 megapixel, I have a 7 megapixel Canon Rebel. You're got some top of the line stuff. You should keep working on that photography. I was your age when I started with it, and it's stuck with me this long. :) I think you're really enjoy it.

If you really want, you can e-mail me and I'll hook you up with all sorts of websites and teach you what I can over the interwebz. :) I just did some wedding photography and I got some cool results. Hit me up if you're interested. :D

Twinks said...

Haha, there's alot of stuff to do here, I guess. I'm just not old enough to do any of it. My mom won't let me go past our driveway without parental supervision. *rolls eyes*

I can't believe you're almost 18!! Pretty soon you'll be off to college and you'll have forgotten about all us little people... *sniffle*

Okay, okay, so it's not dinky. I just really wanna get one of those cool cameras with the changeable lenses and stuff. ^_^

Okie dokie. I'll have my mom set me up a new e-mail account. (the old one got taken away while I was grounded)