...eventually. Or so I've been told.
My mom and I have been trying to spend some "quality time" with each other, but it's getting harder and harder to. My grandmother is becoming more clingy to my mom than ever. Somewhere inside of me, I know it's especially hard on my mother to have to deal with. She has a 73 year old woman clinging to her 24/7. And I know it's stressful for my father, who hardly ever gets to talk to mom anymore. But my selfishness has started to get the best of me. I went to pain management a few weeks ago, and my therapist said that when my grandma is clingy like that, it's just the dementia acting up. It's not that she doesn't want me or dad to spend time with mom. The dementia is making her act that way. I guess it's just hard for me to wrap my head around. I understand dementia and how it works, I just can't see how someone once so loving and caring, is now acting like a 4 year old. I just really miss being with my mom and dad. I know that if I had a brother, or sister suddenly come into the picture like this, I'd feel the same way. But it's so confusing when I feel like I have to fight to get attention from my own mom. Mom says that everything will get better... eventually.
Me, and one of my guy friends, M, have been friends for years. I've known him since grade school. We lost touch for about two years, (we had no classes with each other, and my school is pretty big) but this past year, in 8th grade, we had a class together. I was ecstatic. He was one of my bestest buddies ever. So, naturally, we became close friends again. I always had a crush on him, but it seemed like nothing. I never thought it would get in the way of our friendship. He's smart, and funny, and all that jazz, so yeah, I liked him. We've been texting each other all summer. I'll always text him before I go to sleep every night. But a few nights ago, he asked me the one question that made my heart drop. "Hey, do you think I should ask out J?" J is one of my bestest girl friends. We just met this past year, but we clicked immediately. I love her to pieces. She, as many girls at my school, likes M. And M told me that he likes her back. I didn't exactly know what to say. First I thought about telling him how I felt, but I realized that telling him that I liked him would get me nowhere. So, being the good buddy that I am, told him to follow his heart. If he truly likes this girl, and if she truly makes him happy, then they should be together.
I don't regret what I said. And I don't regret telling J that, "He's a good guy. He'll love you no matter what." (Which is true. I've seen every girl M has gone out with. He takes care of them when they're sick, and writes them songs when they're sad, and so much more. He's a truly great guy.)
I've still never had a boyfriend, nor have I had my first kiss yet. All my friends (and I'm not exaggerating when I say ALL) have had a boyfriend/girlfriend already. I asked one of my gay guy friends why he thought that I wasn't dating yet. His exact words were, "You're like everyone's little sis' Twinks. You're sweet, and kind-hearted, and cute. You're the one everyone comes to when they have problems. I guess everyone just considers you as more of a little sister." I took these words to mean that I'm just not ready to date yet. Besides, my dad would flip out if I brought a boy home. I know that my "knight in shining armor" will come... eventually.
So, kids, I guess the moral of this story is... Well, I don't think there is a true lesson to learn from this. Just be patient. And hopefully you'll get lucky. ;-)